[D-] Faim, Desert Scavenger

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Intoxicated Crayon
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[D-] Faim, Desert Scavenger

Post by Intoxicated Crayon » Thu Feb 14, 2008 2:01 am

Faim
Desert Scavenger
Agility; Hallowed Order

Story; Creepy fellowzorz. I are hungry. More beastial than humane. The odd one out of the order.

Level 1 Skill: - Condition and Attack
Eye Gouge
    Faim slashes at a foe with a no remorse straight along the eyes. When the foe is hit, it is blinded and dealt Y damage.

Level 1 Skill: - Passive
De Jager
    Faim is very down to earth and animal-like. When near maimed foes, Faim's speed is increased by X% and gets a small chance to dodge attacks. The Boost is applied as such (Let X = Number of units with maim. Y = Boost. X(Y). The evasion does not increase by much.)

Level 1 Skill: - Attack Buff and Condition
Lame
    Faim prepares an extremely cheap and deadly attack to unleash upon a target. Faim's next attack is immediately followed by an extremely quick attack that deals X% of his normal attack damage and maims for Y seconds.

Level 6 Ultimate: - Active Passive
"Uiteindelijk"
    Faim is an insane thing, and can be easily be summed up as a crazy dude. When activated, Faim is ruined, but is granted invisibility when near blind foes. However; If no blind foe is nearby, Faim loses his invisibility when within X range of a hero. Mana is drained when attack and invisibility is broken while attacking when not near a blind foe. (Second Effect: Faim receives Y extra attack damage permanently.)
    [Or... It could be a windwalk like ability! zomg!]


Comments?

*Note; I tried to fill in the invisibility thing, so the ulti is makeshift. I didn't want the gouge but it seemed as a requirement.*
Last edited by Intoxicated Crayon on Fri Feb 15, 2008 8:06 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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andriejj
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Re: Faim, Desert Scavenger

Post by andriejj » Thu Feb 14, 2008 3:29 am

That ultimate- bleh, don't like it.

But the Gouge is ok, just one change- remove the miss chance, just make it count as a normal attack, so when Faim is blinded, he can miss with it.

I like that maim-enemies hunting (passive and attack-enchancer).

So... think of some ultimate involving invisibility, but not necessarily requiring some condition. It could get better because of one, but still, without it, should be worth casting/using. I think that somekind of Windwalk would suit this hero and his theme.

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BD423
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Re: Faim, Desert Scavenger

Post by BD423 » Thu Feb 14, 2008 4:40 am

i wana give u an altered vers of ur hero i was very inspired to create by ur passive.

1st skill
same except have it maim also

2nd skill
same sept have it give a atkspeed and ms boost for each enemy on field that is maimed/maybe another condition(like if u got 2 atkspeed and 2 ms from each unit on field then if u were around 6 units ud get 12 bonus to atk speed and ms could get realy good with right set up)

3rd skill
faims next x attacks become aoe and whenever he attacks a maimed unit he goes breakably invisible for 5 seconds

ultimate: passive Faim gains additional atk and all of his attacks cause maim

sorry that it looks so rough but just think of the synergy between his skills for a minuite. His first skill maims allowing basic fuelage for his passive. His third skill allows him to greatly fuel his passive as long as there are a good number of enemies around it also allows him to disable a large creepwave by casting his first skill while using his third skill. His third skill also allows him to go invisible while having boosted ms and popup to rape heros. Finaly his ult gives him addtional damage and the ability to pretty much 1v1 anything that relies on atking heavily(including rikter) it also fuels his third skill and passive.

take the comment as u will but i realy think that with a lil work ur hero could actualy get accepted(and this is coming from sum1 who wants badly to get there own accepted). Plz dont think im trying to steal ur hero i just want him to be beter.
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Oxygen
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Re: Faim, Desert Scavenger

Post by Oxygen » Fri Feb 15, 2008 6:25 pm

Odd one out of the Order? That feels so pushed in. You should've just submitted that as a normal hero, and find something more order-friendly ''thing''. What would the skin be? So weird


Why is there a miss chance on the Eye Gouge? Last thing you'd want with Blind is a chance to miss it, since its only 75% reliable already.

Second skill is useless on its own.

Third skill sounds like a weak ''Zuma, Strike!''

Fourth skill sounds like an Atrius wannabe. What is Uiteindelijk?

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Cold Phoenix
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Re: Faim, Desert Scavenger

Post by Cold Phoenix » Fri Feb 15, 2008 6:27 pm

This hero sounds exactly like Atrius.. Even Desert Scavenger makes me think ghoul model. >_>
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Intoxicated Crayon
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Re: Faim, Desert Scavenger

Post by Intoxicated Crayon » Fri Feb 15, 2008 8:01 pm

Oxygen wrote:Odd one out of the Order? That feels so pushed in. You should've just submitted that as a normal hero, and find something more order-friendly ''thing''. What would the skin be? So weird


Why is there a miss chance on the Eye Gouge? Last thing you'd want with Blind is a chance to miss it, since its only 75% reliable already.

Second skill is useless on its own.

Third skill sounds like a weak ''Zuma, Strike!''

Fourth skill sounds like an Atrius wannabe. What is Uiteindelijk?


Uiteindelijk = Ultimate (Literally x x. I think it was Dutch..Maybe german.)

Edited First and Second Skill.
I'm leaving De Jager the same for a moment longer.
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Steve
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Re: Faim, Desert Scavenger

Post by Steve » Fri Feb 15, 2008 10:04 pm

For one, the text is FRUITY! AHHHHHHH!

Eye Gouge seems to have a very lame... explanation... if you slash somebody's eyes they're NOT going to get unblind, unless they can regenerate.

Seems pretty similar to Atrius.
Image
The enemy are in disarray, ride them down as they run
Send them to their violent graves, don't spare anyone
Dead and wounded lie all around, see the pain in their eyes
Over the field an eerie sound, as we hear the raven's cry

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Rising_Dusk
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Re: Faim, Desert Scavenger

Post by Rising_Dusk » Fri Mar 21, 2008 12:14 pm

Review:
  • General Pros:
    - Simple in some regards
  • General Cons:
    - THE COLOZZ! THE HOROR! IT MAKES ME MSIEPL!@
    - Invisibility randomly tacked on
    - Too much of an Atrius feel to him
    - Ultimate is hyper complicated compared to the rest of the hero
    - Too much fluff in some tooltip descriptions
  • Final Thoughts:
    - Order version of Atrius makes me a sad Dusky
    - The hero really doesn't innovate or do anything special, honestly
  • End Grade:
    D-
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