Roll to Dodge

[Die_Dummy]

I spartan kick the robot after me.

[Hydrolisk]

I resurrect myself back into human form as my crotchplate made of awesomite forms into a full suit of awesomite battle armour of total annihilation around my body, fitting me perfectly.

[TheIrishPatriot]

I am a zombie.

[polishgangsta]

i teleport to soviet russia.

[VZhitogoroshi]

I throw the robot that's following me at Logue.

(1) You throw yourself at the robot.

Roll to dodge rockets: 4

You manage not to throw yourself at the robots or the rockets. Nice.

I make the robot targetting me explode telepathically.

(2) You give yourself a headache.

The robot targeting you turns the safety off.

I hulk leap into a nearby lake.

(2) You trip on the volcano.

Roll to dodge more volcano: 5

You successfully side-step the volcano. You try not to think about how that happened.

I kill my robot with the power of Rock and Roll

(4) You trash him with metal.

...get it?

metal?

I try to play diablo 3 again

(No actions requiring intermediaries, you need a computer first)

I haunt Logue.

(1) You haunt yourself.

Roll to dodge scary ghost: 3

Oh god! A ghost! With five arms! And four wings! And a KITTY!

You manage not to wet your pants only because you have no pants.

I spartan kick the robot after me.

Madness? No...this is a steel toe boot!

...get it?

steel?

I resurrect myself back into human form as my crotchplate made of awesomite forms into a full suit of awesomite battle armour of total annihilation around my body, fitting me perfectly.

(6) You resurrect to the very top of the awesome continuum and then overshoot by mistake. You are a bunny. You are in space.

Roll to dodge lack of oxygen: 4

You successfully side-step the lack of oxygen. You try not to think about how you just did that.

I am a zombie.

(1) You're a living zombie, aka a person.

i teleport to soviet russia.

(5) In America, you have "In God We Trust" on your money. In Soviet Russia, we HAVE NO MONEY!

Except for you. You are in Soviet Russia AND you have money.

[Daryll-The-Damned]

I summon the God of Rock's magical Axe.

[Pigger]

I force Dusk into playing this game.

[Thanatos]

I push Logue off a cliff.

[TheIrishPatriot]

(So does that mean I'm no longer dead?)

I see dead people.

[Die_Dummy]

I throw Hydro a rope.

EDIT: on a side note, what was the roll for my kick

[Hydrolisk]

I am the war commander of all bunnies.

[polishgangsta]

i combine my money with my stratego.

[iblablaman]

I create a computer

[Vchip]

I tumble down the hill into a nearby lake.

[StyrofoamBoots]

I roll out of the bed