Zivyral, Council Member: Agony

[assassingao]

Zivyral
Council Member: Agony
Intelligence; Bane

"The battles in the Desert of Exile proved to tough for us to win this stalemate. For us to greet the victory in our arms, we will have to do more than sending countless pawns into their graves.

It was proven that even Meridia, the right hand of the Dragon herself could not break the order. Don't ask about the left hand, I never met him, from hundreds of us, there's only a few that have even heard of him.

Even though the council members kept sending their warriors into combat, even leading the army themselves, the Order has proven themselves too tough to be crushed, unlike the barbarians.

At this point, it came to no surprise for me that a Council Member is leading the army this time.


The Void Dragon has come."

-Serakat, Drifter of the Bane



Innate:
Deadlock

• (Active, target unit)
  
  The dragon gazes upon the pitiful target unit, seeing beyond what it itself could never comprehend. He then makes the target see what he had seen, wrecking the target's sanity and crippling both of them until the target is 600 range away from him.
  Leave a debuff named "Dragon's Gaze" which does nothing but acts as the opener for his other skills.
  Applies "Dragon's Gaze" on the enemy target unit, which applies cripple for 3 seconds every 3 seconds until the target leaves 600 range of Zivyral. Short cooldown.
  
  Only one unit can be affected by Dragon's Gaze unless Zivyral transforms into the Void Dragon.
  
  
  Level 1 Skill:
  Mindless
  • (Active, Target AoE)
    
    The Void Dragon explores the mind on those he gazes, finding where they held precious memories, and sever the link between them, replacing them with painful memories, reliving the tale of which was meant to be forgotten.
    
    They will then lose their controls to the nightmares within them, and by their instincts, they will walk to their salvation. For each second they waste, they shall take X damage until they do as the Dragon wishes.
    Makes units with "Dragon's Gaze" suffer X damage over time.
    They completely lose control of the units, during this, they will walk themselves the target AoE. The skill ends upon reaching the AoE. Y Cast Range.
  Level 1 Skill:
  Blinded Faith
  • (Active, No Target)
    
    Shunt out the vision within the eyes of Gazed Units, blurring their sight like lost dreams and memories, losing sight of the Prophet. Reality around them are no longer real, they cannot see what should be seen. They cannot feel what should be felt. All they see is the reality far ahead, in contrast to the hallucinations around them.
    
    After a moment, the dreamland will fade.
    For all units that has "Dragon's Gaze", Creates a black effect that hides everything else under them, including Zivyral, making them unselectable and unseen. The affected units cannot see the minimaps as well. Lasts X seconds.
    (Zivyral is not invisible by any means, though.)
  Level 1 Skill:
  Destructive Salvation
  • (Passive)
    
    His gaze are not meant for the weaklings, for it will damage even the sturdiest of foes.
    Units suffering from Dragon's Gaze will take damage per second, giving the same amount of life for the Dragon's allies within range.
    Units suffering from Dragon's Gaze will take x damage every second. All friendly units within Y AoE of them will be healed for X life..
    
    (Probably as large as Valor and Zeal, or little bit smaller.)
  Level 6 Ultimate:
  Void Dragon
  • (Transformation)
    
    He has several shape and forms, for he is the Void Dragon, the symbol of thousands of untold agony.
    With this, he changes his shape into what others could not comprehend, his eyes see what thousand could not imagine, and he could see them all even when he is closing his eyes. And he will bear his Gaze into those foes around him, making them regret the moment they ever think of opposing the Void Dragon. For he is the dragon, and not fools like those around him.
    
    Like everything, the nightmare they beheld will eventually perish. But they will never forget the day they dared to cross his path.
    Transforms into Void Dragon, which automatically casts Deadlock at enemy units around him, crippling enemy units within range and himself. Lasts for a few seconds.

WTFHAXBBQ. Indeed.

[2-P]

Could you like... focus on what the spells actually do in your spell descriptions. I stopped reading after the 2nd spell... that's just... >.<

[Rising_Dusk]

Bold, but impossible. If it were possible, I would've done it first.

[assassingao]

Could you like... focus on what the spells actually do in your spell descriptions. I stopped reading after the 2nd spell... that's just... >.<

I once did a 10-line long poems just to describe a skill. So this is kind of normal, side-effect for me.

I just don't want it to be dull and boring. Had to separate the lore and the skill, I guess. I thought I explained everything in the descriptions, dang.



Inspiration: From my own imaginary system for an MMORPG, where you marks the target, then click away to cast stuffs.
But that was from a futuristic world, though. Kind of robots and stuff.

Again, I thought of that system after I saw a map, robo-stuff, that has it's own aiming systems, and this is what I had in mind. :C

[Rising_Dusk]

I realize you don't want it "dull and boring," but more so than that you actually want people to read and know what the heck you're talking about. Take a look at my most-recent posted hero and try to explain your skills like that. Being concise really is a good thing. At least stick the lore stuff in hidden tags.

Also, click-shoot cripple with a skill that makes them lose control of their units and have them walk melee range to Zivyral while crippled? You know that means Zivyral could walk away and they'd walk to their deaths in a base, right..?

[assassingao]

Both of them are crippled, not just the target. So both of them are chasing at crawl-speed. (The debuff itself are the ones applying cripple, so it's basically undispellable.)

Lore stuff in hidden tags, then.


We're different, if I look at others too much, eventually I will follow them, and I don't want that to happen. There's been too much examples of duplication in my country.

[pandamanar]

I dislike debuff innates that interact with all other skills... but this Hero still seems interesting. My only question is where are the conditions? Cripple is all I see.

[Rising_Dusk]

Both of them are crippled, not just the target. So both of them are chasing at crawl-speed. (The debuff itself are the ones applying cripple, so it's basically undispellable.)

Which changes nothing, obviously. Get 6 boots on this hero and you'd be able to yank players across the map at no loss. That's really gay.

We're different, if I look at others too much, eventually I will follow them, and I don't want that to happen. There's been too much examples of duplication in my country.

What does that have anything to do with what I said?

---

And his name is Zivyral.

[assassingao]

Code: Select all

Name fixed.
Descriptions shortened.
Mindless Changed into AoE Targeting spell.
Changed Innate to make sure that using Flasks of Purity helps; for 3 seconds.

I totally forgot the booties of haste and boots of blinding speed exists *facepalms*

And I'm going to change the first skill to a set distance, would this be ok? If it's ok, then I'm changing.
(Instead of walking into Zivyral ends the skill, to walking X distance to end the skill.)

The whole question is, should I make him walk the direction to where he was (so you can lure someone into a base or
something), or always following him until the skill ends? (so you can make them follow you in a sense.)

Nevermind that, I'll just make the spell into AoE targeting spell that forces people to move until they reaches the AoE, for extra manipulation!

What does that have anything to do with what I said?

I meant to say that I dislike to follow some set format for describing something, I just do something the way I like it when I like it. I'm also getting tired of doing X and Y stuff, or filling in the numbers to compensate for the lack of variables.

One step at a time I suppose.

(I can't really specify the damage type, I'm not too keen on this, it might be really gay with physical, we have firebrand.
It might be dooming with magickal, so I'm leaving it without any type of damage, hope you can understand.)

I dislike debuff innates that interact with all other skills... but this Hero still seems interesting. My only question is where are the conditions? Cripple is all I see.

I was using too much conditions at a time, for my Hero Contest entry. So I'm trying something simple and working on it. There's too many heroes that inflict the conditions so much that I don't know how to make it unique for my hero to do so.

[Rising_Dusk]

I meant to say that I dislike to follow some set format for describing something, I just do something the way I like it when I like it. I'm also getting tired of doing X and Y stuff, or filling in the numbers to compensate for the lack of variables.

(I can't really specify the damage type, I'm not too keen on this, it might be really gay with physical, we have firebrand.
It might be dooming with magickal, so I'm leaving it without any type of damage, hope you can understand.)

The truth is that damage type is important to the concept of a hero's skill. How it interacts is dictated by damage type, so that's important. And if X and Y bother you, you can use W and V or something. The idea of variables lets the reader know what aspect of the spell you want varying with level - that is very important.

[assassingao]

By X Y, I meant the whole idea of variables.

But as I've already put it in, the point is moot.

[assassingao]

Mind if I post it up?

Need...more...posts...