Geist, Harbinger of Misery

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Black_Heart
Holder of the Alt-F4
Posts: 105
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2008 4:25 am

Geist, Harbinger of Misery

Post by Black_Heart » Thu Jan 08, 2009 3:46 am

Geist
Harbinger of Misery
Intelligence; Bane.
Story

Come now, children, gather 'round. Tonight, I think, I shall tell you of Uden Vellar, the magician, and Darin Kiys, his servant. Uden had lived for a long time, and as he aged ever more, his power dwindled with his body. Now, Uden had felt for his entire life that something was on the horizon. Something that would threaten all the races of this world. He prepared himself for this catastrophic event, but it never came. Unfettered, he continued his study and growth. He grew stronger, he grew more knowledgeable, he grew wiser, and then he grew old. Through all of this, that cloud he saw in his future never showed itself but grew ever more ominous. Uden began to fear that he would die before it revealed itself, and even if it did, he feared that he was too old and too weak to make a difference against it.

Darin, on the other hand, had no such fears. He was a simple man, and had a simple life; a wife, two children, much like you. At night he told them stories of the great Uden, master of magic and the man that he proudly served. Though they never met the old mage, Darin's children loved Uden like a grandfather. They stayed up later than they should to hear stories of him, much like you are now. Darin himself was a kind man, content to do the things that Uden was too busy to do himself. He hoped to someday be able to proudly declare that he served the old mage until his last days.

Uden, meanwhile, was frantically engrossed in a study of old knowledge. The ominous future he felt before him grew stronger than it ever had before, and he knew that if he could only extend his life and his strength for a little while longer he could do his part in it. Finally, he stumbled upon an archaic text that spoke of numerous things, many of them in languages not even Uden could decipher. One passage, though, stood out to him. It spoke of life and power eternal. There was only a single price to be paid. Uden brooded long and hard over this passage as the darkness he felt continued to grow.

Then, once, Darin was cleaning up one of Uden's many study-rooms when the old mage told him he was going out for just a bit to take care of some business and that he would return soon. Darin bid him be careful in his age and then continued about his work. It was his last task for the day, and though it took him some time to complete, he did it diligently and well. He began the walk back to his home proud of his day's work.

His hut was only a short walk from Uden's estate, and was usually alive with the sound of his children playing in the field around it. Today it was silent, but the light inside told Darin that they must be inside, perhaps snacking or wrestling. He entered the door with a smile that never left his face.

Inside, the last image to fill his eyes etched itself on his heart. There in the center of the room lay his wife, a crimson circle drawn around her and from her. On either side of her lay his sons, and all three were surrounded by symbols that were alien to Darin's eyes. Standing over them, arms spread wide, was a spindly, frail old mage, rapidly intoning sounds that filled Darin's head with agony. Uden glanced up at him with blazing eyes and Darin felt something inside him give way as he slumped to the floor.

So it was that Uden Vellar surpassed the mortal realm and became something altogether different by consuming those souls most loyal to him, and yet there was something wrong. There was a pressure building in his chest that was like nothing he had ever felt before. The old mage had power, yes, and his death was now far from sight, but he had overestimated the strength in his old soul. He had absorbed four others that night, you see, and one of them did not intend to let go of its hatred and anguish to become a part of him.

Later, the scene was found. It was said that Uden Vellar had lost his mind in his age, and massacred the Kiys' for unknown reasons before slipping away into the night. He was never seen again, they say, but people nearby spoke of terrifying screams that persisted for several nights. People have invented many tales about Uden the Mad. What? What do I believe happened? Well...

I think the soul that was Uden changed that night, merged with another mind and heart... but what do I know? I am only a storyteller. Now, off to bed with you, children, and remember: If you hear anything outside tonight, it is only the wind.

Only the wind.
Level 1 Skill:
"I am sorrow."
  • Active, Instant. Enemies within X distance of Geist take Y magickal damage. If they die within Z seconds of being struck, they heal nearby Bane units for K health. (Alternative: Heals for K% of the unit's max health.)
Level 1 Skill:
"Life is pain."
  • Channeling, AoE Indicator. Foes in target area take X damage every second. Deals Y additional damage to foes suffering from a condition.
Level 1 Skill:
Anguish Aura
  • Aura. Nearby units that die have an X% chance to spawn a very weak/weak/medium/strong/very strong Tortured Soul that extends bleed on struck foes.
Level 6 Ultimate:
"Trust breeds suffering."
  • Active, AoE Indicator. Places a debuff on foes within the AoE. Foes afflicted with this debuff deal X damage to their nearby allies every time they make an attack. Lasts for Y seconds.(Alternative: Deals X% of their attack damage.)
This one was a bit of an experiment for me. I wrote the backstory first and then tried to craft skills to match it. I'm not completely happy with him, but I don't think I can improve him much without some feedback. So, in that vein... Feedback away, please?

EDIT: Whoops, used his older name in the description for "I am sorrow." Fixed that. Oh, and for clarification, that skill is meant to be a damaging version of Roar or Howl of Terror; i.e. a Shout for those of you who've played Guild Wars.
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Black_Heart
Holder of the Alt-F4
Posts: 105
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2008 4:25 am

Re: Geist, Harbinger of Misery

Post by Black_Heart » Sun Jan 18, 2009 1:21 am

I tweaked Anguish Aura slightly, and replaced his ult. It didn't feel quite right to me. So, since nobody's said anything, I assume it has something to do with the ridiculous amount of backstory. If that's the case... don't read it. I really don't care, but I need feedback on the skills. I know they still need work, but I don't know what to do. Anyway, I think the ult is a little better than it was. Old ult archived here:
First Ultimate

"The dead weep for those that hear them."
  • Active, Point Target. Sends out a sphere in target direction that absorbs corpses that it passes and explodes when it strikes a foe. Each corpse absorbed adds damage and area to the explosion. Deals X base damage plus Y damage per corpse, up to a maximum of Z.
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LightburneR
Holder of the Alt-F4
Posts: 169
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 11:43 pm
Location: Singapore

Re: Geist, Harbinger of Misery

Post by LightburneR » Mon Jan 19, 2009 10:09 am

Comments comments comments, well I don't really have much time, or really feel too much like commenting, but here goes anyway.

I would say the hero is far too passive. Other than the first skill being an active, there isn't much to play with. You have a channelling, a passive and an enemy dependant triggered skill.

Bleed appears to be tacked on.

Oh and he appears to be focused on pushing, or creep control or w/e.
Its... its... a NEW SIG!! OMG!!

O_O"

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