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Math Jokes/Phrasings/Stories/Pickup lines

Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 5:46 pm
by Greenspawn
Math jokes. Short and simple description. Let the joking begin!


"It's all fun and games until someone loses an i" (Our calc class's T-shirt phrasing)

"Baby, let's add me, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and begin multiplying!"

"Theorem. A cat has nine tails.
Proof. No cat has eight tails. Since one cat has one more tail than no cat, it must have nine tails."

"Life is complex: it has both real and imaginary components."

"Will integrate for food"

"Q: What does George Bush complain about regarding math in schools?
A: That all the math departments offer an introduction to AlGore-ithms, and not GeorgeBush-ithms."

"Q: Do you know what the latest statistics joke is?
A: Probably..."

"In a dark, narrow alley, a function and a differential operator meet:
"Get out of my way - or I'll differentiate you till you're zero!"
"Try it - I'm e^x..."
"Too bad... I'm d/dy"

Re: Math Jokes/Phrasings/Stories/Pickup lines

Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 5:49 pm
by Greenspawn
Heard one from a friend in BC today:

"I wish I was your problem set, because then I'd be really hard, and you'd be doing me on the desk."

-A. Jermyn

Re: Math Jokes/Phrasings/Stories/Pickup lines

Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 6:41 pm
by andriejj
Two diverging sequences met... (it sounds so much better in Polish ^^)

Re: Math Jokes/Phrasings/Stories/Pickup lines

Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 6:55 pm
by erwtenpeller
nerds.

Re: Math Jokes/Phrasings/Stories/Pickup lines

Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 8:48 pm
by Crevax
"I wish I was your derivative because then I would be tangent to your curves. "

Re: Math Jokes/Phrasings/Stories/Pickup lines

Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 10:04 pm
by Logue
Greenspawn wrote:"I wish I was your problem set, because then I'd be really hard, and you'd be doing me on the desk."
Epic.

Re: Math Jokes/Phrasings/Stories/Pickup lines

Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 10:34 pm
by Cold Phoenix
Logue has new vocabulary to score with.

Re: Math Jokes/Phrasings/Stories/Pickup lines

Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 1:45 pm
by Logue
Cold Phoenix wrote:Logue has new vocabulary to attempt to score with.
Fixed.

Re: Math Jokes/Phrasings/Stories/Pickup lines

Posted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 4:36 pm
by The Colonel
-Last year's math class T-shirt
"(Front)i^2 (Back)Keepin' it real"

Re: Math Jokes/Phrasings/Stories/Pickup lines

Posted: Sat Sep 27, 2008 12:59 am
by Vinnam
Top Ten Things That Math and Sex Have in Common

10. Explicit discussions of either topic is a faux pas at most cocktail parties.

9. Historically, men have been in control, but there are now efforts to get women more involved.

8. There are many joint results.

7. Both are prominent on college campuses, and are usually practiced indoors.

6. Most people wish they knew more about both subjects.

5. Both involve long and hard problems, and can produce interesting topology and geometry.

4. Both merit undivided attention, but mathematicians are prone to think about one while doing the other.

3. Saint Augustine was hostile to both, and Alan Turing took an unusual approach to both.

2. Both typically begin with a lot of hard work and end with a great but brief reward.

1. Professionals are generally viewed with suspicion, and most do not earn high pay.

Re: Math Jokes/Phrasings/Stories/Pickup lines

Posted: Sat Sep 27, 2008 9:35 am
by Hell_Tempest
Vinnam wrote:Top Ten Things That Math and Sex Have in Common

5. Both involve long and hard problems, and can produce interesting topology and geometry.
Best one, lulz.

Re: Math Jokes/Phrasings/Stories/Pickup lines

Posted: Fri Oct 24, 2008 8:18 pm
by Psiclone
Vinnam wrote: 3. Saint Augustine was hostile to both, and Alan Turing took an unusual approach to both.
I dunno, I rather like this one.

Re: Math Jokes/Phrasings/Stories/Pickup lines

Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 9:21 pm
by pandamanar
Joke : What do you call a parrot that doesn't eat?
Answer :

A Polynomial

Re: Math Jokes/Phrasings/Stories/Pickup lines

Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 9:36 pm
by The Colonel
Back in algebra we had "Starving Parrot" tests.

Re: Math Jokes/Phrasings/Stories/Pickup lines

Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 2:14 am
by Kaome Sky Deathand
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdonf-_BqLo

....

Couldn't resist mates.