Wish Corruption

[ReDSeX]

Granted. Your vagina feels lonely and unstimulated.

I wish I had a vagina.

[Sabertooth]

You get one, but it replaces your eyes.

I wish for a new pair of shoes.

[pandamanar]

You get a new pair of old, ragged shoes.

I wish I had the ability to snap my fingers and whatever I was pointing at lit on fire.

[vesuvan]

Granted, whenever you snap your fingers with both hands, what you are pointing at will ignite. Erections do not count as pointing, nor do nails glued to your forehead.

I wish usenet was back the way it was in 1997

[pandamanar]

Usenet goes back to how it was in 1997... but so does everything else. >_<

I wish I could get in my friend's pants

[Sabertooth]

You get in them while he/she is not also in them, and you suffocate.

I wish magic was real!

[Cooldood]

Magic becomes real, but you get turned into a sheep and used as toilet paper by a dragon.

I wish I had some food right now...

[andriejj]

You do, but it's some American, packaged, processed 10 times, biologically and chemically, nobody-knows-what. You don't know what it is. You don't know WHAT you eat. It won't let you sleep for several days.

I wish I were not bashed for thee above.

[Deschain]

Granted. You are bashed by a 2 and a half meter tall Troll from Lotr universe (reason: you were too close to his hands).

I wish that mind was over matter.

[Sabertooth]

Mind gets put over matter, but it returns Syntax Error.

I wish that I could of won gold for something in the Olympics.

[TheIrishPatriot]

You could have. But you didn't.

I wish for a good car.

[Halnodor2]

Granted, you get a good car but gas sky rockets and you have no money to pay for it.

[Cooldood]

You do not wish, and fail at this game.

I wish that I'd studied more for my exams o.O

[Deschain]

Granted, you are returned to the past to study more. However your time trip to past has left a tear in the fabric of space time continuum allowing creatures from different universes to enter your own world. Your exams are canceled since Vegeta obliterated most of your university after his duel with Exuro. Transformers and Space Marines fight a losing war against the forces of Chaos, Hades and Dahaka. In a desperate call they ask the Emperor to use the Imperial Death Star to cleanse the world of its pathetic existence. GG.

I want a Death Star.

[andriejj]

Granted. But the Death Star, being delivered to you, closes too much to Earth, and falls on it, like a huge meteor, making an enourmous crater, gargantuan tsunami and raising dust covering the sun for the next 100 years. NICE GIFT, IZN'T IT?!

I wish Russia was somehow humiliated. Not military.