Valor & Zeal Gaming

Ok, this is really easy game

Each post somebody wishes for something the next post has to grant the wish (purely by typing it)
Example
Poster One I wish I had a Sandwich
Poster two You get your sandwich but it tastes bad
I wish I had a girlfriend
Poster Three You get a girlfriend but she hurts and abuses you
I wish ....

and it goes on.
I'll start


I wish I had 50 bucks.

Someone used it to wipe their ass.
I wish for salvation.

You only find false salvation a thing of heretics

I wish Dusk wasn't mean in any manner

Your dreams will never come true

I wish I had a panda.

Your panda arrived from China but it mauled you to death when you opened the box.

I wish my dreams would come true.

Dusk stops being mean in any way, but then leaves vz, and DOESN'T come back after three weeks.

I wish straight-to-video Disney movies were illegal, and that the CFOs of disney would be systematically executed for making the lion king four.

Your father is a Disney CFO.

I wish I had a Loki

Loki tells you to go die in a fire

I wish I had a cat.

Sensei kittar dropkicks you off of the fourth story of a building.

I wish I had infinite wishes.

All were made in china and contain lead.

I wish for RE5 to come to wii.

The Wii's profits plummet and Nintendo goes out of business instead.

I wish for a donation button on this site.

You gain a donation button but nobody ever clicks it.

I wish for this thread to stop

All threads stop.

I wish for a 16 ounce steak.

It is infected with mad cow and is rotten.

I wish for Matlab to compile.

Your compiling is complete but it takes 98 days.

I wish I knew what Matlab was.