My Girl Problems

A place to talk about serious "real life" stuff without having to place it in between a demand by Blankie for food and Logue's latest almost-pr0n thread.
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Rising_Dusk
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Re: My Girl Problems

Post by Rising_Dusk » Sat Jan 17, 2009 3:06 pm

It has nothing to do with being pessimistic or optimistic. Oo
"I'll come to Florida one day and make you look like a damn princess." ~Hep

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Oxygen
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Re: My Girl Problems

Post by Oxygen » Sat Jan 17, 2009 4:41 pm

Rising_Dusk wrote:It has nothing to do with being pessimistic or optimistic. Oo
Yeah, where was I ever pessimistic lately? I have a bunch of news that could make anyone change mind

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andriejj
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Re: My Girl Problems

Post by andriejj » Sat Jan 17, 2009 5:49 pm

If you think that women are the 'seed of satan', then you are pessimistic/negative/some-other-adjective in this matter. I weren't talking about You guys overally.

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Rising_Dusk
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Re: My Girl Problems

Post by Rising_Dusk » Sat Jan 17, 2009 6:47 pm

You should be careful, those words don't mean the same thing at all. What it would make me is 'frustrated,' if you really want to describe it in a specific way.
"I'll come to Florida one day and make you look like a damn princess." ~Hep

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TheDeathstalker
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Re: My Girl Problems

Post by TheDeathstalker » Sat Jan 17, 2009 7:06 pm

Rising_Dusk wrote:What it would make me is 'frustrated,' if you really want to describe it in a specific way.
What's wrong, Dusk?
Deschain wrote: Dunno about you but I always felt attraction to more than one girl. And I'm a firm supporter of test driving before buying. So test first, channel your love later.
I agree in part here Des, when you're young and new at relationships, and still unaware as to what you want, keep your options open, experience new things, and learn what you like in a woman. But this should taper off as you grow up, you should move towards a more deep, serious connection and relationship with a person, one where you take care of them, they take care of you, and you're better than you are apart. Some people that isn't true for at all, but I guess they have little option but to either change or stay single.
Deschain wrote: Well look at it like this. If you channel all your love into a single girl that gets tired of you, what have you accomplished?
Oooh, I can answer that one! Say you love someone for... two years. Good, no, great relationship, you learn and experience hundreds upon thousands of new things, and for those two years, you want and need nothing more but that person. Then it ends, and for an hour, a day, a week, a month, your world is shattered. You feel rage like never before, sadness you could have only imagined, fears and doubts that you never knew you had. But it is in these trials that the character of a man is tested, and just like making steel, if you can survive the fire, you come out a stronger, better person. (There's also the whole argument of "what if the single girl doesn't get tired of you?" but that's a rather meaningless one, because we all know the outcome of that.)
And though you come out of each gruelling bout,
All broken and beaten and scarred,
Just have one more try—it’s dead easy to die,
It’s the keeping-on-living that’s hard.

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Deschain
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Re: My Girl Problems

Post by Deschain » Sat Jan 17, 2009 11:36 pm

andriejj wrote:Heh, you 2 big pessimists. Oxy's disappointed after that 'romance' he informed us about, Dusk may have been turned down or also disappointed. But it's still better than Deschain's practical attitude ;P
Fixed
Rising Dusk wrote:I am almost to the point where I agree with one of my friends that calls women the 'seed of satan.'
oO? In what way seed of the satan?
TheDeathstalker wrote:I agree in part here Des, when you're young and new at relationships, and still unaware as to what you want, keep your options open, experience new things, and learn what you like in a woman. But this should taper off as you grow up, you should move towards a more deep, serious connection and relationship with a person, one where you take care of them, they take care of you, and you're better than you are apart. Some people that isn't true for at all, but I guess they have little option but to either change or stay single.
All what you said was cool but what does it have to do with Cecil's problems?

If you really wanna know the reason I don't date or hang out is mostly because I'm lazy and until I overcome myself (some of my flaws I consider major) and reach my optimum I won't be try to make meaningful progress in relationship. So:
1. work on myself
2. work on social skills
3. work on finding a meaningful relationship
Those who seek war deserve for the war to find them.

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TheDeathstalker
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Re: My Girl Problems

Post by TheDeathstalker » Sat Jan 17, 2009 11:58 pm

Well, Des, it's rather generic advice, we don't know anything specific enough about his problems to help too much. That, and the advice I gave for the situation went unheeded. Although, I do have to say that lying to the boyfriend is a BAD idea, hell, lying in general is a bad idea, especially if you don't have something to hide. Let's run a quick example...

I tell the boyfriend that he doesn't have to worry, I've already got a girlfriend. He buys it. Week later, he sees you make the same (or a similar, but not quite the same) claim to another guy. He, naturally, becomes suspicious. He does a bit of sleuthing, checking your Myspace, Facebook, etc, and finds no evidence of a girlfriend. His suspicions are now founded, and your word can no longer be trusted. Simple uncomfortableness is now an open war. You can imagine what follows.

Yes, this isn't a 100% occurance, but it's far more likely to have a bad outcome than if you just have an honest chat, tell him there's nothing to worry about, but that you respect his space, and that if he needs/wants more time with her/without you, you'll give it to him. If you can't do this, you're probably not trying to do this for the right reasons.
And though you come out of each gruelling bout,
All broken and beaten and scarred,
Just have one more try—it’s dead easy to die,
It’s the keeping-on-living that’s hard.

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andriejj
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Re: My Girl Problems

Post by andriejj » Sun Jan 18, 2009 5:25 am

You people are so deeply facebooked and myspaced there? ;P

After a while of thought, we prolly ain't much better, there's grono.net and few other community sites here.

TheIrishPatriot
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Re: My Girl Problems

Post by TheIrishPatriot » Sun Jan 18, 2009 9:06 am

I'm not sure I'm answering properly, because Cecil's post is so far back I can't just scroll down and look at it. But, anyways, here, whenever one of my friends likes a chick that's going out with somebody else, I usually just tell them to be a good friend to them, be there when the girl needs a friend, etc. I dunno about your people's boyfriends, but seriously, if my girlfriend talks to a guy a lot, I do get jealous, but I don't assume anything is going on. Non-trusting boyfriends? If you have more specific questions, I'd be able to help a lot more :P.

(Speaking of my girlfriend, tis a seven month anniversary today :D!)
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Oxygen
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Re: My Girl Problems

Post by Oxygen » Sun Jan 18, 2009 1:58 pm

andriejj wrote:You people are so deeply facebooked and myspaced there? ;P
Clever.

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Vchip
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Re: My Girl Problems

Post by Vchip » Tue Jan 20, 2009 2:05 am

The number one question I'm wondering: How old are you cecil ( I hope that doesn't sound too creepy) but truly I can get a better feel of things if I knew what age range your dealing with.

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Loki
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Re: My Girl Problems

Post by Loki » Tue Jan 20, 2009 8:19 am

Judging by his first post, I'd have to say HS.
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SetaSoujirou
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Re: My Girl Problems

Post by SetaSoujirou » Tue Jan 20, 2009 1:47 pm

Player. I don't see why you can't just focus on a single girl, see if that works out, and if it doesn't move on. Simple no?
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Cecil
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Re: My Girl Problems

Post by Cecil » Tue Jan 20, 2009 3:14 pm

Vchip wrote:The number one question I'm wondering: How old are you cecil
17 as of October.
SetaSoujirou wrote:Player. I don't see why you can't just focus on a single girl, see if that works out, and if it doesn't move on. Simple no?
Complicated... see these people every day (yes I am in HS Loki). And there's two I really don't know how I really feel about... I guess it's possible to reaaaaallly like more than one girl... or just not know which one you like the most.

And the school has almost no interesting girls in it (to me at least, but I have a bit odd tastes I guess). There's only like, 10 ish I would even consider in my mind getting serious with. And most girls here r prude so u can't f*ck them, (but there's nearby shitty towns 4 that, not that I'm interested...).

One's got a BF, and so much more attached, one is like a dream girl that's impossible to get (but at least I got a good 5% chance or something...), and then another one that just makes me happy being around her... truly happy... I dont understand why... and I dated her. She is moving to a state across the country so she broke up with me because... well I'll save that for the info in my first post.
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Rising_Dusk
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Re: My Girl Problems

Post by Rising_Dusk » Tue Jan 20, 2009 5:43 pm

Cecil wrote:...or just not know which one you like the most.
In this case, I wouldn't date either; if it's not obvious, then neither are worth it as far as I'm concerned. Maybe if you'd asked me years ago I'd say date both of them in sequence to try them out, but at this point in time I'm of the belief that such a thing would be lame.
"I'll come to Florida one day and make you look like a damn princess." ~Hep

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