eLove

A place to talk about serious "real life" stuff without having to place it in between a demand by Blankie for food and Logue's latest almost-pr0n thread.
TheIrishPatriot
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Re: eLove

Post by TheIrishPatriot » Mon Sep 01, 2008 8:39 am

Transportation, because yeah, distance is a problem >.<.
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Read my prose please :).
An tírghrá Éireannach

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Oxygen
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Re: eLove

Post by Oxygen » Mon Sep 01, 2008 8:49 am

TheIrishPatriot wrote:Transportation, because yeah, distance is a problem >.<.
Unless I pull off something extraordinary, I highly doubt that anything is going to happen.

In fact, the cold truth, I believe, is that I'm just wasting my time and what's left of my sanity. I know that this conclusion really sucks, but I highly feel that I'm never going to make any progress toward her heart.

Finally, I think I should either focus on a friendship, or totally forget her. The latter is impossible to realize, though, and even if I could do it, I'd be very sad to be forced down this way.

I might tell her just that -

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Deschain
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Re: eLove

Post by Deschain » Mon Sep 01, 2008 9:23 am

Oxygen wrote: Finally, I think I should either focus on a friendship, or totally forget her. The latter is impossible to realize, though, and even if I could do it, I'd be very sad to be forced down this way.
The latter is impossible to imagine not to realize. She is as human being as such she has flaws (I bet she goes to urinate and defecate like any other monkey). Take her off the frickin' pedestal and move on. It will hurt but world moves on.

When I have problems like these I turn to my family or friends for support. Not some random internet retards.
Those who seek war deserve for the war to find them.

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Oxygen
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Re: eLove

Post by Oxygen » Mon Sep 01, 2008 10:58 am

Deschain wrote: The latter is impossible to imagine not to realize. She is as human being as such she has flaws (I bet she goes to urinate and defecate like any other monkey). Take her off the frickin' pedestal and move on. It will hurt but world moves on.
We actually went over this WAYYYYY back, and determined that neither of us actually crapped because we were too amazing. It might have been something related to me crapping with pink ribbons around it.

That's what's so awesome with jess, you can just talk about everything. Ask loki, I believe he was there a few days ago when we went really crazy.
Deschain wrote:When I have problems like these I turn to my family or friends for support. Not some random internet retards.
It's not really a problem, I'm just sharing. That stuff is pretty taboo too, though, and the last thing I'd want are my friends or even less so, my family involved.

She's coming back in about 1 hour or so, I'll see what I can do and update.

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Scarlet
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Re: eLove

Post by Scarlet » Mon Sep 01, 2008 12:39 pm

First of all, if you're not willing to discuss this sort of thing with your friends and family, why are you even doing this? If she means so little to you that you won't even talk about her with people you've known all your life for fear that they won't understand and ridicule you on the matter, then just stop. It'll bring nothing but a lot of pain and strained, awkward moments for you.

I don't know what to say on the whole topic of online relationships myself - people *have* had them work for them before, but I'm unwilling to try - so I'll try to be helpful in another way, or something. >.>

Vesu was right about not making this out to be something it isn't; you've clearly made up your mind on the matter as far as you're concerned, but you shouldn't be trying to "pull off something extraordinary" to win her over. These things take time - I know it's been three years, but I doubt you were this deep into her back then - so be patient. If she seems like a mature, sympathetic person, then tell her how you feel and (hopefully) discuss it with her.

Regardless of what you do, good luck to you. =)

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Oxygen
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Re: eLove

Post by Oxygen » Mon Sep 01, 2008 1:26 pm

Scarlet wrote:First of all, if you're not willing to discuss this sort of thing with your friends and family, why are you even doing this? If she means so little to you that you won't even talk about her with people you've known all your life for fear that they won't understand and ridicule you on the matter, then just stop. It'll bring nothing but a lot of pain and strained, awkward moments for you.
"Hey dad, I've beeb loving a girl from the internet, but she doesn't like me, at least I don't know... Ever wondered why I never brought anyone back home? Yeah, I'm not gay! No, no you were wrong : D ur funny daddy . . . period."

It does feel ridiculous, what can I say? Besides, what would that change? My stuff. It was more a story that I was sharing with everyone, rather than asking for help. It turned out that I didn't feel so good about it all, but there's always had a happy ending for me, and I'm sure there'll be again.
Scarlet wrote:I don't know what to say on the whole topic of online relationships myself - people *have* had them work for them before, but I'm unwilling to try - so I'll try to be helpful in another way, or something. >.>
I know, I know. But when it's yourself, it's always different, eh?
Scarlet wrote:Vesu was right about not making this out to be something it isn't; you've clearly made up your mind on the matter as far as you're concerned, but you shouldn't be trying to "pull off something extraordinary" to win her over.
I know, and he was right. You're right too, I'll just be my mature, half-funny, smart self, and if it doesn't work, well eh?
Scarlet wrote:These things take time - I know it's been three years, but I doubt you were this deep into her back then - so be patient. If she seems like a mature, sympathetic person, then tell her how you feel and (hopefully) discuss it with her.
Patience has never been an issue, except for these last 3 days, it seems like I was suddenly pressured by some unknown force. . . :[ anyhow, yes, she is mature, and even if she totally denied, I'm sure we'd be fine after that... but I'm certain you know how these things are.
Scarlet wrote:Regardless of what you do, good luck to you. =)
Thanks Scarlet.. I just really need to study this all, and get over with as soon as I can, I just can't stand it anymore, my last night was horrible, and I'm sweating just talking about it.

She always is so evasive about the subject, that's the main thing that I fear. Last week, I certainly had the upper hand, but the scale switched so suddenly, and I feel that I'm currently at my lowest

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Rising_Dusk
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Re: eLove

Post by Rising_Dusk » Mon Sep 01, 2008 1:34 pm

Oxygen wrote:She always is so evasive about the subject, that's the main thing that I fear. Last week, I certainly had the upper hand, but the scale switched so suddenly, and I feel that I'm currently at my lowest
Oxy, this isn't a battle in DoE that you have to win. This isn't some thing where you can practice and practice and practice and suddenly become the best there is at it. You can't just buy a blink stick and instantly take over the field, you can't try to gain the "upper hand," you can't try to force it down her throat, you can't be impatient.

This is something finer and more intricate than any game could ever be. Just let it play out; if she is dodging it, then if you force the discussion upon her she will take it harshly. If you don't have a little fate that things always work out in the end, you'll get nowhere. Just calm down and let things be; if they were meant to be, they will.
"I'll come to Florida one day and make you look like a damn princess." ~Hep

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Oxygen
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Re: eLove

Post by Oxygen » Mon Sep 01, 2008 1:49 pm

Rising_Dusk wrote:Oxy, this isn't a battle in DoE that you have to win. This isn't some thing where you can practice and practice and practice and suddenly become the best there is at it. You can't just buy a blink stick and instantly take over the field, you can't try to gain the "upper hand," you can't try to force it down her throat, you can't be impatient.
I know... but time is against me. She hangs with guys ALOT, and I know it's a question of weeks if not days before one of them stands up. I'm awesome and all, but they have a clear advantage, and it's called "I'm in the room next to yours". I've never been impatient about this, but I've been more and more worried since the day she joined the res.
Rising_Dusk wrote:This is something finer and more intricate than any game could ever be. Just let it play out; if she is dodging it, then if you force the discussion upon her she will take it harshly. If you don't have a little fate that things always work out in the end, you'll get nowhere. Just calm down and let things be; if they were meant to be, they will.
You're entierely right; even though I'm stressed about things, I should simply keep playing the way that I've always played: patient, understanding, kind. I'm not giving up though.

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Rising_Dusk
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Re: eLove

Post by Rising_Dusk » Mon Sep 01, 2008 1:53 pm

Oxygen wrote:I know... but time is against me.
No, it isn't. You have all of the time in the world, just as anyone else here or anywhere does.
Listen, if you take nothing away from me after however long I've known but one thing, take this -- If you rush you will fail. If she would take a guy next to her as opposed to you, let her. If those two were meant to be, then they will be, but if they weren't, you will be the shoulder she cries on and the hug that heals when she needs it (All figuratively, distance and all). And that is more important than anything in a relationship. Let her live her life, don't try to drive her to live it your way.
Oxygen wrote:I'm not giving up though.
Good. Just be patient and understanding and stand by her side when the world is against her and it will all work out.
"I'll come to Florida one day and make you look like a damn princess." ~Hep

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Oxygen
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Re: eLove

Post by Oxygen » Mon Sep 01, 2008 2:40 pm

Rising_Dusk wrote:
Oxygen wrote:I know... but time is against me.
No, it isn't. You have all of the time in the world, just as anyone else here or anywhere does.
Listen, if you take nothing away from me after however long I've known but one thing, take this -- If you rush you will fail. If she would take a guy next to her as opposed to you, let her. If those two were meant to be, then they will be, but if they weren't, you will be the shoulder she cries on and the hug that heals when she needs it (All figuratively, distance and all). And that is more important than anything in a relationship. Let her live her life, don't try to drive her to live it your way.
I'm really torn, though.

One side of me knows that we'd make a superb couple; there is absolutely no doubt here... and perhaps is this there I'm wrong? In fact, maybe am I totally no good for her. Maybe she's looking for someone that's completely different? Disturbing. This is quite interesting. I don't think she's ever complimented me, other than "Funny" and "Adorable"; That's not anything, but then again, she might be shy about it all. This again splits it in two. On one hand, I might have to make a first move for anything to truely happen, but on the other hand, things could end up simply flowing well on their own.

My other side wants to see her happy, and no matter what she does, as long as she is happy. I've been like that until then, but I know I'd make her happy too.

Finally, this breaks down to four choices:


I could directly tell her my feelings, and that I'd be happy no matter what happened next;

The best that could happen here is that she is interested in trying something out ( unlikely ). The worst is that she becomes embarassed, and simply tells me that it'd never work out ( ??? % ). There's a high chance of an unforseen result here, and this choice would be very luck based. No matter though, we'd still be friendly, but I'd feel like something would've changed forever between us.


I could let things flow ( positive );

The best that could happen here is that after x period of time, she would eventually feel confident enough to try something out ( low % ), the worst that could happen is that we just remained friends forever, which isn't bad at all. Unforseen result is that I or she died. Period. Negative result is that I'm somewhat floating inbetween uncertainty and insanity.

I could let things flow ( negative );

Where I actually say "f*ck it, whatever happens happens, I'm done trying, but I'll still be friendly and all" - obviously, we'll likely stay friend but, without really trying to "seduce", if I can use that term. Good result is that I won't feel insane anymore, but the less good result is that it somewhat crushes my chances. If I don't really show interest, I might end up having a problem.


I could give it up, and just focus on a fiendship;

The best that could happen here, is that we'd be friends forever, and the worst, ( well, if it can be called worst ) that I "missed" a chance to be with a girl I find truely amazing.


I remember her telling me something along those lines, about 1.5 years ago;

"Cream and alex, I love you guys, because it seems like you're the only persons not harassing me" and by that, she meant, crush. Speaking of which, I was somewhat crushed, since, err...

So perhaps should I let the whole attempts to seduce thing go, and maybe is that going to actually have better results?

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Deschain
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Re: eLove

Post by Deschain » Mon Sep 01, 2008 2:50 pm

Oxygen wrote:"Hey dad, I've beeb loving a girl from the internet, but she doesn't like me, at least I don't know... Ever wondered why I never brought anyone back home? Yeah, I'm not gay! No, no you were wrong : D ur funny daddy . . . period."
You still have your Mom, right?
Rising_Dusk wrote:Listen, if you take nothing away from me after however long I've known but one thing, take this -- If you rush you will fail. If she would take a guy next to her as opposed to you, let her.
Dusk speaks true. Just keep in mind there are other fish in the sea.
Those who seek war deserve for the war to find them.

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Oxygen
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Re: eLove

Post by Oxygen » Mon Sep 01, 2008 3:29 pm

Deschain wrote:Dusk speaks true. Just keep in mind there are other fish in the sea.
The pretty-interesting-smart-brunette dolphin is rare.

I'll see what happens tonight.

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Zieg
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Re: eLove

Post by Zieg » Mon Sep 01, 2008 7:15 pm

Sounds like you have a good opportunity here, if not for 'forever-love' at least a great chance for ending up with a fantastic friend.

I wish you good luck, I know how these types of things are. Just gotta flow with it. Don't do anything stupid, but don't get discouraged, no matter what anyone says.
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Oxygen
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Re: eLove

Post by Oxygen » Mon Sep 01, 2008 7:56 pm

Zieg wrote:Sounds like you have a good opportunity here, if not for 'forever-love' at least a great chance for ending up with a fantastic friend.

I wish you good luck, I know how these types of things are. Just gotta flow with it. Don't do anything stupid, but don't get discouraged, no matter what anyone says.
Yeah, that was my plan, really. It's like she didn't exist, it's so weird. Anyway, I'd rather have a friend than a broken heart, that's for sure

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Vchip
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Re: eLove

Post by Vchip » Mon Sep 01, 2008 8:18 pm

Oxygen wrote:Yeah, that was my plan, really. It's like she didn't exist, it's so weird. Anyway, I'd rather have a friend than a broken heart, that's for sure
Not to be rude my friend, but I dont think you should go as far and say "broken heart". Sure it would suck if she did not return your feelings, but your 18! Go out and experience people!

Recently I was talking to my friend about realationships. We were discussing the things that drive "love", and we both decided on intamcey is a BIG part of it. Sure you can be sweet,funny,ect. But your never going to be able to move the relationship along (if that's what you want to do of course) to a higher level.

Sometimes it takes a hug or kiss or maybe something more to truly see if you can seriously connect.

Besides that, I still wish you the best of luck.

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