Please comment on any of the linked works. Every bit is a part of a learning byte./programmer humour
I've wrote all of these before. The Maicein Temple is a little G-rated and rushed because it was a school thing, so you know...
However, I'm probably going to use this thread to post ALL my literary things.
The few below are hosted on Valor & Zeal forums, and are slightly more recent. Many thanks for the presence of this entire forum, and to the people who administrate it and Dusk for being in the first place. Recent to older.
Sirlin got it right when he told me and a few others that very many aspects of the art of war are simply lost in other mediums. When Sun Tzu wrote to use fire in war, he wasn't talking about some metaphor, he was literally suggesting the use of fire to sandbag the enemy. The psychological aspects of his work are the most relevant to any competition today, but using the art of war for anything other than the base for an abstract paradigm seems like a namedrop undeserving of respect.
What sirlin really drew from the art of war was the concept of "yomi", or getting inside another person's head. He succeeded in making the allusion worthwhile, but this is rare.
My name is vesuvan... Damn didn't see that one coming.
Great read by the way. I must say I like the way your wrote Absolution though it is quite different from my emotionless-mass-killer vision of it. Send me a PM or something when you continue your story.
Those who seek war deserve for the war to find them.
"The Eunoia Wagon" is a short story assignment for my English course. It's extra short to meet certain requirements. Truly, it is most often harder to write less and hit key points you want to touch. Most likely, there will be an unabridged version for personal enjoyment (instead of graded paper).
That is just Warhammer in a different hat and you know it.
You've got decent mechanics, but (at least at quick glance) all your writing seems to be you trying to be dark and mature and not. Change up your subject matter or something and you'll benefit nicely.
[Edit: Lest I sound too much like an asshole...this is a problem literally half of teen authors have. As a teenager myself, I see it a lot, and can diagnose it from fifty paces. I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just trying to get you to STOP. ]
Sincerely, I don't really know anything about Warhammer. I wouldn't be surprised if that comment was the truth though (comparing to WH40K and Dawn of War in my case)!
Hmm. I can see your point and lack of assholery (in case you need confirmation). I don't think I try to be dark and mature though, although I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't (in which your feedback says it's not). Not consciously at least. What am I doing wrong though (or right) that makes it not that?
On second thought, it's mostly the schoolwork that I have posted that I just KNOW is trying to be dark and mature and isn't, simply because it was for school.
Thanks for your feedback! Quite useful, really. But do I have to switch? *Whine and complain.* I like to write fantasy-type sci-fi-type things.
No, really, thanks for your feedback. It's awesome and you are too.
It's certainly something that can be used, the problem is, you're using too much. Try writing a bit without it - good works will have SOME darkness, but it's better to work with none and add on.
Take one of the dark fantasy worlds in your head and find a less dramatic side. Someone needs to shine a paladins armor - what does he think of the war and posturing? Someone needs to muck out the dragon's stall - does he find the same magic and wonder an observer would? Someone needs to tell the public about the war - do they tell the truth?
There's plenty of good stories about mostly good people that work in any world.